"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg, even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." --Bernard Meltzer
Today was another awesome day, for a bunch of reasons.
I'll start off with a question: Have you ever had someone let you know when you don't look so good? You know, like...
"Wow, you look exhausted."
"Are you sick? You look sick."
"Geez, you look terrible!"
I think we all have experienced this, right? And it always seems to happen when you are feeling especially crummy and nasty and grubby...and you really didn't need someone to remind you.
On the other hand, isn't it great when someone tells you that you look good? Especially when you are feeling particularly sharp or sassy, or you are busting out a new piece of jewelry or hairstyle or outfit (bonus if you got any of it on mega-sale!). As much as I love compliments on clothes and jewelry, they are nothing compared to a different kind of compliment I got today. Someone I hadn't seen in about a month gave me some feedback on how I looked, saying I seemed...
-more relaxed
-less stressed
-like I was "beaming" compared to a month ago
OK, hands down, that was WAY better than having someone tell me that my shoes rock!
It was a great thing to hear, especially since I have actually felt that change in the past month or so. I don't think the person was just humoring me, either...so I appreciated that someone else noticed a difference in me. I hope it continues!
I also had a wonderful dinner with two good friends tonight. I hadn't seen them in about a month, either, so it was great to reconnect. They are two hilarious ladies from school who were awesome supports when I worked there. Their rooms were always great places to stop by after school and hold legendary "vent sessions." More than anything, they were always there for a good laugh and a constant support system. Oh yes...and they also share my love of delicious food! Bonus! We had a great visit at Olive Garden (mmmmmmmmm, unlimited breadsticks.....) and caught up on life. It was one of those situations where the time apart did nothing to hinder the conversation or the connection, because the friendship is so strong that time apart doesn't really matter. I was really blessed at my school job to meet a handful of special friends like that. When I think about possibly returning to school in a year, the friendships of my colleagues are certainly at the top of the"pros" list. Anyway, it was a great dinner and I can't wait to see those lovely ladies again!
Hmm...I was actually going to finish up with something else today, but I think I'll save it for tomorrow. Looking back on what I wrote, I think that is plenty for one day! So here's my Doogie Howser "moral of the story" part of the blog:
-Getting a sincere compliment feels great. Don't ruin it by rejecting it ("No, I don't look that good...I need to lose more weight...etc")...I am guilty of this sometimes. I am trying to get better at accepting compliments, saying thank you, and believing them.
-Giving a sincere compliment feels great, too...and it can make someone's day (it made mine today!).
-Good friends rock. Plain and simple.
...and so do unlimited breadsticks! :)
QUESTIONS FOR YOU: OK, people. Time to start commenting...don't make me beg! I want to know: How do you receive compliments? Do you accept them, minimize them, get embarrassed, etc?
Also...what do you love most about your friends?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I used to minimize or dismiss compliments all the time. But that makes the compliment-giver feel kind of icky too. So I "practiced" accepting compliments with grace. The practice eventually became easier and became sincere.
ReplyDeleteI've gotten a lot of comments on how much more confident, comfortable and self-aware I seem nowadays from close friends, and those are definitely the most precious. It's great to receive a validation of all of the hard work I've done on myself and is incentive to just keep it up. I can even turn a random comment into a compliment; I was chatting with someone and telling them about my weekend, and they commented on how interesting and cool my week had been. As someone who used to think I had nothing going on, this was a huge boost. I thought to myself, "Yeah, I have an interesting, awesome life!"
Thanks for sharing, Alyssa! I know what you mean about the compliment-giver, too. It's not a good feeling to try to convince someone they deserve a compliment!
ReplyDeleteI want to know your secrets! It sounds like you are doing well and feeling confident. That is awesome. Thanks for commenting and I hope you continue. :)
In general, I've become quite good at graciously accepting compliments from people. When I was younger, I was a minimizer. Now, I usually say, "Thank you" and try and give a compliment in return if the situation warrants. Especially in situations where people say things like, "I wish I could sing like you." I like to remind them that we all have talents and weaknesses and they probably do something very well that I'm an absolute nightmare at (Math, spelling, take your pick!)This makes them feel good while allowing me to accept the compliment with grace. I do sing well, and I'm happy when people enjoy it!
ReplyDeleteThese days, I really feel like a dynamic, interesting person and accepting compliments has become easier as a result, BUT, there is one exception: I've recently attracted the attention of a guy who I think of as so smart, talented and cool that he's positively intimidating. Plus, he lives in LA where I imagine there are plenty of talented smart women who are also flashy and Hollywood. I find myself asking "Why is his attention focused on me?" When he compliments me, I sincerely wonder if he's nuts! I scoff and think, "He can't be serious." In my brain, I know this is crazy. I know I'm worthy of his attention and praise and the more I remind myself of this, remembering that I am gorgeous, smart and cool, the easier it is to hear the nice things he has to say to me.
I think it's funny that I so readily believe compliments from most anyone else (including guys) but not immediately from this guy. Why the suspension of belief? Hmmmmm....
As for what I love most about my friends... I love how weird, geeky, and fun my friends are. I tend to develop the strongest relationships with people who are just a little bit left of center. The "nerdy" kids vs. the "cool" kids. I've learned to fit in with the cool kids, but I much prefer the company of people who let me be me without judgment. They're a little strange, so they don't care when I am. It's awesome and freeing and I adore them and all their oddities!