It's Not Easy

"We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey." -Kenji Miyazawa

Hello, friends!

I'm not going to apologize for being a delinquent blogger. OK, maybe I just did. Whatever! I'm back...thanks to those of you who kindly encouraged/reminded/kicked me back into it! I appreciate your blog support! :)

So this might not be the happiest of topics, but it's one that has been on my mind for the past few weeks. So here goes...

There has been a lot of death and sadness in my life lately...more specifically, in the lives of some of my good friends. Some friends have lost family members after long illness, some have experienced the sudden death of a loved one, and other friends have suffered the sadness that comes with the death of a pet.

In these situations, it seems natural to feel sad and try to empathize with your friends...even though it's impossible to really know what someone is feeling at the time. As bad as it sounds, I think it's also natural during these times to think of ourselves. You know what I mean...I'll admit it. I often put myself in the situation and think a few things:

"Oh my God. What if that was my father (sister, aunt, dog) who died? What would I do?"

OR...even more selfishly...

"Thank God that wasn't my father (sister, aunt, dog) who died!"

Right? It seems selfish, but we can't blame ourselves for being grateful, I guess.

But what happens when it is us? What happens when tragedy or tough times or (God forbid) death hits us close to home? I have been incredibly lucky in my life to have had very (very!) few deaths in my close family...but when it has happened, it has been devastating. In most situations, I have been "prepared" for the deaths (as in, our family knew it was inevitable and we had time to talk about it beforehand), but that really didn't help cope with actually losing the person. It's terrible. And nothing really helped me feel better in the moment...it took a lot of time, letting myself mourn, and just being sad. For a long time! It sucked.

Then I think about people who have to deal with more sudden, unexpected losses. I honestly cannot imagine how I would cope with that kind of situation. I consider myself a strong person when it comes to helping others, supporting friends, or counseling students. But if it happened to me? Ugh...I don't even know where I would start.

I feel like I am rambling...so I will try to get to my point. I'm writing this for a few reasons...first, I want to tell all of my friends who have recently dealt with a personal tragedy that I love you and I am thinking of you. I do not envy your position, but I want you to know how much I admire your ability to get up every day and do your best to make it through each day. Your strength is incredible!

Second, I'm hoping some of you will have the courage to share how you deal or have dealt with tragedy in your own lives. Maybe your story will help someone else get through a difficult time...today, or some day in the future. So that's the question for you...if you are willing to share, I would appreciate it very much.

Thank you!