"Think of a place that's really perfect. Your own happy place." -Chubbs Peterson in Happy Gilmore
Yesterday I was driving down the street and saw a car parked on the side of the road. I looked over and noticed that a man was outside of the car, standing on the edge of a small pond. Then I looked closer and saw something pretty cool...the man had an easel set up in front of him and he was painting the beautiful foliage scene that was in front of him! I thought that was the coolest thing I had seen in a long time. Think about it...how peaceful and enjoyable must it be for someone who likes to paint...to just go out on a beautiful fall day, set up shop in the middle of nature, and paint? What a great way to relax, appreciate the amazing colors, and do something you love to do. I wanted to pull over and just sit with him! And it made me wish I had any artistic skills whatsoever! :)
That got me thinking...I bet that man was really calm and relaxed in that moment. Who knows...maybe he was stressing over what colors to use or how his painting looked. But I like to think that he was having a great time and just relaxing in his own little world. In his happy place.
I was sort of joking when I used the Happy Gilmore quote at the start of this entry, but today I want to talk about happy places. I hope you have all seen the movie before...it is one of my favorites. In the movie, Chubbs tells Happy to find a "happy place" where he can go when he's feeling angry or ready to have a meltdown. You need to see the movie to really appreciate his "happy place." Even though the movie is funny and his happy place is a little...um...strange, it does sort of have relevance in the real world. So...let's talk about your happy place.
I don't know about you, but I definitely have my moments during the day when I am worked up, frustrated, stressed out, fed up, or ready to snap. I have found that I have a lot less of them lately, since my current job situation is pretty stress-free, but I still have times when stupid little things can really get under my skin. It's time like those when I really need to find my "happy place." Right now, I'd say the healthy things I like to do when I'm stressed out include:
-breathe
-listen to some fun music
-try to change my focus to something positive
-laugh
-breathe some more
-talk it out
The unhealthy things I like to do when I'm stressed out include:
-scream
-freak out
-scream some more
-overreact
-eat
-scream even more
I'm trying to make that unhealthy list just a little bit smaller, if you know what I mean!
About a year ago, I was introduced to a wonderful approach called Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction. I was lucky enough to participate in a two-day workshop on Mindfulness, and then another six-week program that was offered through my job. There is way too much information to share about the theories and exercises behind mindfulness practice, but in a (very small) nutshell, it focuses a lot on being present in the moment, focusing on your breathing, and working on keeping your mind and body and mind uncluttered. It takes a lot of practice, but once you figure out how it works, it can be an incredibly powerful life skill. I got a great CD from these workshops that has guided meditations on it. It's so relaxing to sit in a quiet place, close your eyes, and listen to the meditations. Like I said before, it can be challenging to clear your mind and just focus on that moment, but it is such a liberating feeling when you are able to do it.
For me, working on mindfulness practice is probably one of the best and healthiest "happy places" I have found. It works well, it's something you can do any time and anywhere, and it can instantly bring your stress level down. The only problem? Like most other things, it takes PRACTICE. (Hence, the word "practice" in its title! Ha!) For some reason, finding ten minutes a day to listen to the CD can be challenging. I might do it for three or four nights in a row (and feel instant improvement), but then let it slide and slack off for weeks. So one of my goals for the year is to get better at setting aside some time to practice the practice :) It's not easy, but I'm working on it!
If you are interested in learning more, let me know! I'd love to talk with you about it. Also, if you want a great starting point, check out the book Wherever You Go, There You Are by Jon Kabat-Zin. Or check out this website.
QUESTIONS FOR YOU: Where is your happy place? Have you ever tried mindfulness practice (or a variation of it, such as yoga, meditation, etc?) Share some ideas, please!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I used to laugh at mindfulness practices. I used to cringe when a therapist would tell me to close my eyes and focus on my breathing. I hated when the therapist would put on "relaxing" music. I would squirm in my seat and wish for the time to be over. They would tell us to visualize ourselves at a beach, or somewhere equally serene. I tried, oh how I tried. I liked the beach, it shouldn't be that difficult. The therapist would tell us that if our mind wandered, to gently bring it back. My mind was racing, I couldn't catch up to "gently" pull it back. Soon after I moved in with my sister and was dealing with a lot, Matt gave me a cd, he told me it was really relaxing. It was a cd of buddhist chants...my sister and I giggled for an eternity...didn't he know I didn't buy into all that hokey "relaxation" crap. But, it's 4 years later, and I realize that I do buy into mindfulness stuff. I find myself able to be in the present. I can slow down the roller coaster of thoughts that sometimes seem to careen out of control in my mind. I find myself taking deep breaths and focusing on my breathing when I am frustrated. I don't listen to chanting or new age music, but I find myself singing to keep myself in the present. For me, getting Maddy was the first step in being able to be in the present. She and I could go for a walk in the woods and be completely content in the moment. If my mind wandered, I could bring it back to the present. Being with Maddy was so eye opening to me. It was the first time in my life I didn't feel I had to be anyone or live up to any expectations. Maddy loved me just because I was her mommy. It was through her that I was able to shed some of the ridiculous expectations I had for myself and find out who I was and what I wanted to be. I have found the things that truly make me happy. I have found that I need that happy place less and less now that I have a better sense of who I am.
ReplyDelete