It's Not Easy

"We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey." -Kenji Miyazawa

Hello, friends!

I'm not going to apologize for being a delinquent blogger. OK, maybe I just did. Whatever! I'm back...thanks to those of you who kindly encouraged/reminded/kicked me back into it! I appreciate your blog support! :)

So this might not be the happiest of topics, but it's one that has been on my mind for the past few weeks. So here goes...

There has been a lot of death and sadness in my life lately...more specifically, in the lives of some of my good friends. Some friends have lost family members after long illness, some have experienced the sudden death of a loved one, and other friends have suffered the sadness that comes with the death of a pet.

In these situations, it seems natural to feel sad and try to empathize with your friends...even though it's impossible to really know what someone is feeling at the time. As bad as it sounds, I think it's also natural during these times to think of ourselves. You know what I mean...I'll admit it. I often put myself in the situation and think a few things:

"Oh my God. What if that was my father (sister, aunt, dog) who died? What would I do?"

OR...even more selfishly...

"Thank God that wasn't my father (sister, aunt, dog) who died!"

Right? It seems selfish, but we can't blame ourselves for being grateful, I guess.

But what happens when it is us? What happens when tragedy or tough times or (God forbid) death hits us close to home? I have been incredibly lucky in my life to have had very (very!) few deaths in my close family...but when it has happened, it has been devastating. In most situations, I have been "prepared" for the deaths (as in, our family knew it was inevitable and we had time to talk about it beforehand), but that really didn't help cope with actually losing the person. It's terrible. And nothing really helped me feel better in the moment...it took a lot of time, letting myself mourn, and just being sad. For a long time! It sucked.

Then I think about people who have to deal with more sudden, unexpected losses. I honestly cannot imagine how I would cope with that kind of situation. I consider myself a strong person when it comes to helping others, supporting friends, or counseling students. But if it happened to me? Ugh...I don't even know where I would start.

I feel like I am rambling...so I will try to get to my point. I'm writing this for a few reasons...first, I want to tell all of my friends who have recently dealt with a personal tragedy that I love you and I am thinking of you. I do not envy your position, but I want you to know how much I admire your ability to get up every day and do your best to make it through each day. Your strength is incredible!

Second, I'm hoping some of you will have the courage to share how you deal or have dealt with tragedy in your own lives. Maybe your story will help someone else get through a difficult time...today, or some day in the future. So that's the question for you...if you are willing to share, I would appreciate it very much.

Thank you!

Your Happy Place

"Think of a place that's really perfect. Your own happy place." -Chubbs Peterson in Happy Gilmore

Yesterday I was driving down the street and saw a car parked on the side of the road. I looked over and noticed that a man was outside of the car, standing on the edge of a small pond. Then I looked closer and saw something pretty cool...the man had an easel set up in front of him and he was painting the beautiful foliage scene that was in front of him! I thought that was the coolest thing I had seen in a long time. Think about it...how peaceful and enjoyable must it be for someone who likes to paint...to just go out on a beautiful fall day, set up shop in the middle of nature, and paint? What a great way to relax, appreciate the amazing colors, and do something you love to do. I wanted to pull over and just sit with him! And it made me wish I had any artistic skills whatsoever! :)

That got me thinking...I bet that man was really calm and relaxed in that moment. Who knows...maybe he was stressing over what colors to use or how his painting looked. But I like to think that he was having a great time and just relaxing in his own little world. In his happy place.

I was sort of joking when I used the Happy Gilmore quote at the start of this entry, but today I want to talk about happy places. I hope you have all seen the movie before...it is one of my favorites. In the movie, Chubbs tells Happy to find a "happy place" where he can go when he's feeling angry or ready to have a meltdown. You need to see the movie to really appreciate his "happy place." Even though the movie is funny and his happy place is a little...um...strange, it does sort of have relevance in the real world. So...let's talk about your happy place.

I don't know about you, but I definitely have my moments during the day when I am worked up, frustrated, stressed out, fed up, or ready to snap. I have found that I have a lot less of them lately, since my current job situation is pretty stress-free, but I still have times when stupid little things can really get under my skin. It's time like those when I really need to find my "happy place." Right now, I'd say the healthy things I like to do when I'm stressed out include:

-breathe
-listen to some fun music
-try to change my focus to something positive
-laugh
-breathe some more
-talk it out

The unhealthy things I like to do when I'm stressed out include:

-scream
-freak out
-scream some more
-overreact
-eat
-scream even more

I'm trying to make that unhealthy list just a little bit smaller, if you know what I mean!

About a year ago, I was introduced to a wonderful approach called Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction. I was lucky enough to participate in a two-day workshop on Mindfulness, and then another six-week program that was offered through my job. There is way too much information to share about the theories and exercises behind mindfulness practice, but in a (very small) nutshell, it focuses a lot on being present in the moment, focusing on your breathing, and working on keeping your mind and body and mind uncluttered. It takes a lot of practice, but once you figure out how it works, it can be an incredibly powerful life skill. I got a great CD from these workshops that has guided meditations on it. It's so relaxing to sit in a quiet place, close your eyes, and listen to the meditations. Like I said before, it can be challenging to clear your mind and just focus on that moment, but it is such a liberating feeling when you are able to do it.

For me, working on mindfulness practice is probably one of the best and healthiest "happy places" I have found. It works well, it's something you can do any time and anywhere, and it can instantly bring your stress level down. The only problem? Like most other things, it takes PRACTICE. (Hence, the word "practice" in its title! Ha!) For some reason, finding ten minutes a day to listen to the CD can be challenging. I might do it for three or four nights in a row (and feel instant improvement), but then let it slide and slack off for weeks. So one of my goals for the year is to get better at setting aside some time to practice the practice :) It's not easy, but I'm working on it!

If you are interested in learning more, let me know! I'd love to talk with you about it. Also, if you want a great starting point, check out the book Wherever You Go, There You Are by Jon Kabat-Zin. Or check out this website.

QUESTIONS FOR YOU: Where is your happy place? Have you ever tried mindfulness practice (or a variation of it, such as yoga, meditation, etc?) Share some ideas, please!

Inspiration...and the G Word

“I was painted into a corner. I was completely lost -- I didn't know what I was going to do. I wanted to learn to cook. ... It wasn't until the project was nearly done that I really understood that what I was trying to do was figuring out a new way of living and finding new experiences in life.” -Julie Powell

Hi,

Sorry it has been a while since my last post. After I came home from Florida, my body completely crashed on me. I came down with a killer sinus infection which left me basically useless to the world for about a week! It's amazing what an illness can do to shut everything down. Thankfully, I'm feeling back to normal and trying to catch up on things. Last night my husband and I went out for a pre-anniversary date. We went to one of our favorite restaurants (Friendly's...I know, we are very fancy) and then went to see the movie Julie and Julia. I'm not sure if any of you have seen the movie yet, but if my opinion means anything...

SEE IT! IT WAS AMAZING! GO SEE IT RIGHT NOW BEFORE IT LEAVES THEATERS!

...what are you doing still reading? I thought I told you to go see it?!

OK, fine. You can finish reading the blog and then you can go see it. There were so many great things about the movie...it was a great story, it had wonderful performances, and it was very entertaining. It was also very inspiring to me and I felt eerily connected to the lead character, Julie Powell. I won't give too much away in case you still want to see it (and you do! I promise!), but basically, Julie is a woman about to turn 30 who is feeling kind of stuck in her job. Her true dream in life is to become a writer so she starts a blog...and amazing things happen in the process. Um...HELLO? I know this person! :) About 50 times during the movie, I either leaned over and said, "That's like me!" to my husband or grabbed his arm or tapped his leg. I'm sure he appreciated it...I couldn't help it. There was so much I could relate to. Anyway, I won't blab on about the movie too much, but I really loved it and it was a great way to remind me that anything is possible, and that struggling 30 year old wannabe writers can still live out their dreams! Yay for the Julies of the world! :)

OK, now on to the G word. Any guesses on what it might stand for? Here it is...it's something I am trying to work on, confront, and figure during this year of change...

GUILT

Aaaaah! Does this word like to take up residence in anyone else's brain on a regular basis? I have struggled with the whole guilt thing forever. I don't need to get into the deep, psychological roots of my crazy obsessive guilt issues, but the point is...I am someone who tends to overthink, overanalyze, and over-beat-myself-up about things. I tend to feel bad if I don't live up to every little expectation, and yes...I have a teeny tiny (enormous) problem with the whole perfectionism thing. My new pal Julie Powell went through some guilty phases in her life, too. I think we all do from time to time...but I think some of us tend to do it more than others.

So here is just one example of a stupid guilt thing...I have been stressing and beating myself up lately because I haven't posted on this blog in almost two weeks. Seriously. I feel bad (and guilty!) that I haven't posted more regularly. Forget that I was sick. Forget that I was catching up on life. Forget that some nights I just wanted to veg out or sleep instead of write. None of those excuses were good enough. I was actually mad at myself. Like I had let someone down. Don't ask me who...maybe it was the Blog Gods. I have no idea.

Then came the mean self-talk: "You told yourself you were going to stick with the blog! This was part of your plan for the year! People are going to think you already gave up on it!" Yes, I know this is probably very stupid. And I guess it's a good thing that I can (sort of) recognize that it is stupid. But the fact remains: I am not very good at letting things go! That is, when it comes to me.

I can be a very supportive, forgiving, and patient person...when it comes to my loved ones. I'll be the first to give encouragement if a friend is putting too much pressure on herself. I truly believe that people make mistakes and that it's not a big deal if you mess up here and there. But I still really struggle when I make a mistake or when I mess up here and there. I'm definitely getting better at "letting things go," but I definitely have a long way to go. (See? I can't even give myself credit without saying it's not good enough! Argh!)

Someone gave me great advice once, and it's something I use when I am counseling students: the advice was, "Treat yourself like you would treat your best friend." Would you call your friend stupid if she made a simple mistake? Would you harp on your friend for days over something she already felt bad about it? Of course not, right? So why do we tend to do it to ourselves?

QUESTIONS FOR YOU: Do you have problems with the G word? How do you deal with them? If you feel like you treat yourself like your best friend, can you please give me some advice on how I can get better at it? Thanks!

Tales From the Bench

"When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves." -Victor Frankl

Hi everyone,

I'm back! Florida was amazing. I had such a good time and made a ton of great memories with my teammates. This was our first year together as a team, so we came into the tournament with varied expectations and experience at such a high level (this was the slow pitch World Series). Well, I won't leave you in suspense any longer...out of 92 teams in the tournament, we finished THIRD in the whole country! How incredible is that? We came in knowing we were good, but nothing could have prepared us for the amazing run we had together.

As you probably remember, I was having hamstring problems coming into the tournament. I had been resting and rehabbing it for about a month and keeping my fingers crossed that I would be healthy for the World Series. My doctor gave me the OK to play, saying I should be fine as long as I stretched out ahead of time.

We arrived on the field the first day and it was INCREDIBLE. There is no way to explain how thrilling it was to drive into the Disney Wide World of Sports complex and realize, "Oh my God. I am going to play here!" Those of you who know me well know that softball and Mickey Mouse are two of my favorite things EVER, so this was like a dream come true for me.

I stretched out well before the game, I iced and heated and did everything I was supposed to...then I took a deep breath and started to run. It felt FINE! YAY! I was so excited. I ran faster and harder, turned corners, ran backwards, and it still felt fine. I was feeling optimistic heading into the game, even though in the back of my mind I feared having another hamstring snap once the game started.

The game started, I got up to bat for the first time, and felt great. The fields were immaculate, the sun was shining...it was so awesome. I swung at the first pitch, hit the ball, and started my sprint toward first base. About three steps into it, I felt that dreaded snap again. It was my hamstring. NOOOOOOOOOOO!

I hobbled over to first base and started stretching the leg. My teammate asked me if I was OK and I said, "I'm fine," even though I wasn't fine. I wanted to be fine and I was hoping the injury wasn't as bad as it had been last month. I stayed on first base and tried to stay in the game. Once the next person hit, I tried running to second and my leg was KILLING me. If you have never torn your hamstring before, it's hard to explain how painful it is. Basically, no matter how hard you try to block out the pain, it it excruciating. You literally can't run, even if you try. My other teammate called time out and took me out of the game. It was one of the worst feelings I had in a long time. I immediately started crying; not because of the pain in my leg but because I was heartbroken. I knew that I wouldn't be able to play in the rest of the World Series.

I don't really know how to explain the feeling of being taken out of the game. You might think I am being a bit dramatic by saying I was heartbroken, but I really was. I was also angry, I'm not going to lie. Imagine something you love to do more than anything else, and then imagine someone telling you that you can't do it. That's how I felt! Like I said before, playing in the World Series (in Disney World!!) was such a huge thrill for me, so to have that taken away in a split second was like being kicked in the stomach. I was so sad. And I don't know how to say this without sounding like a jerk...but I don't know what it feels like not to play. I have been lucky enough in my athletic career to always play. I have never sat on the bench unless I was hurt. And as much as I respect all of my teammates, regardless of who plays or who doesn't...I don't feel comfortable on the bench. All I know is being on the field. So this was terrible for me.

I lost it for a few minutes, but I soon realized that crying wasn't going to help my team. It would only be a distraction, and no one needed that. So, I tried to catch my breath and focus on what I could still do: cheer on my teammates and be a positive presence in the dugout. It was definitely hard to do, especially during that first game, but I tried my best and was able to stay as positive as I could. My teammates knew how hard it was for me, and they were all so supportive and tried their best to keep me up. I will never forget that!

For the rest of the tournament, I played the role of super-hyper-crazy-cheering-wild-coach-teammate. I put my sadness aside and decided to be the very best teammate I could be. I never stopped cheering, I used every crazy motivational trick I could find to help keep my teammates going and fired up. I never sat down, I never shut up, and I loved every minute of it! I was able to pinch hit in a few key game situations, and I think that helped me feel like I was contributing a little bit, but for the most part, I was on the sidelines being Cheer Girl.

If I could go back in time, I would obviously not have chosen to be hurt. I would have stayed healthy and played in every game. However, given the situation I was dealt, I feel very thankful for the experience. I experienced the whole tournament from a very different perspective than I ever had. When you are on the field in the middle of the action, you don't really get to appreciate the little details of every play...or the efforts of each athlete...or the emotion involved with the ups and downs of the game. Usually, you are so focused that you zone out some of the little things. Because I was on the sidelines, I got to see every move, every play, every at bat from my teammates. I got to watch them run on and off the field every inning, high five each other, and prepare for every game together. It was not only enjoyable and exciting to watch them, but I also learned so much about the game by having the chance to watch them so closely. I always knew I had talented teammates, but I had no idea just how remarkable they were before this weekend. Most of my teammates were tired or sick or run down or injured in some way, but they all played as if they were in perfect health. Running for extra bases, diving for balls, sliding into other players, and sacrificing their bodies just to win the game. They played hard, but they always played fair. They were all good sports and stayed positive, even when the game or the calls were not in our favor. They never gave up and always believed that we could pull together and win. It was awesome! I feel like I became a better softball player during the tournament, even though I hardly stepped on the field. And I know that being positive on the sidelines made a big difference to my teammates. They thanked me after every game and mentioned that I was a factor in helping them stay positive and focused. I wasn't looking for any thanks, but I have to tell you...it felt good to be recognized!

This opportunity not only helped me as a player, but also as a coach. I coach a high school softball team, and I expect a lot out of my players. I tell the girls that everyone on the team is valuable and that everyone contributes, no matter how much they play. And to be honest, I get frustrated when the girls on the bench don't seem to be cheering or involved as much as I think they should. However, after my experience in Disney, I have such a better appreciation for the girls who have to sit on the bench all the time. I never really understood how difficult it is to have to stay up all the time when you don't get to be involved in the action on the field. As silly as it may sound, I never realized how hard it was to yell for two hours straight! Yikes! :) I think when I go back to my coaching job in the spring, I will have a much better perspective on all of the athletes on the team, not just the ones scoring the runs or striking people out.

I am so proud of my teammates for what they accomplished on the field in the World Series, and I am happy that I got to be a part of it. It was an unforgettable experience.

QUESTIONS FOR YOU: Have you ever had an experience not go exactly the way you wanted, but you figured out a way to make the best of it? How did you do it? Tell us about it!

Flying South

Hi everyone,

I'll be taking a small hiatus from blogging...tomorrow, I'm heading down to Florida with my softball team to play ball in Disney World! Yay!

Please send us happy thoughts for a safe trip, good weather, healthy hamstrings, and hopefully lots of wins! I can't wait to tell you all about it when I get back next week! :)

Clip, Clip

"To read without reflecting is like eating without digesting." -Edmund Burke

I subscribe to a few different magazines and like to read them when I find a spare minute. A couple of them are about women's fitness/health, and the other one is my absolute favorite, Oprah Magazine. Don't laugh! It's awesome! I love it because it is filled with great articles, motivating stories, and lots of practical and fun information that usually seems to relate to my own life. I don't ever watch Oprah's TV show because of my schedule, but I'm telling you...her magazine ROCKS!

Whenever I read a magazine, I usually find some good tips or ideas. Sometimes I jot down a book title or website I read about, and sometimes I will rip out a picture or ad for something that piques my interest. Then, knowing me, I usually lose the note or toss out the piece of ripped paper. Oops!

I recently came up with a brilliant idea. OK, I think it's kind of brilliant. I am going to start keeping a little binder of inspiring things I find in my magazines. Good quotes, exercise tips, delicious recipes, fun articles, etc...I'm going to cut them out and keep them in a little notebook. Then, I can look back on them later if I ever need some motivation, new ideas, or just something good to read. I figure it's also a good way to get the most out of my subscriptions.

OK, so maybe this isn't the most exciting idea of the century, but I thought it was a neat little way to keep some inspiring words of wisdom nearby. I also thought I might share some of the better clips with you on the blog. Sound good? Yay!

QUESTIONS FOR YOU: Do you have a regular resource (magazine, website, TV show, etc) that provides you with good ideas, inspiration, etc? What is it? Do you keep anything like a journal, notebook, or scrapbook? Tell us about it!

It's a Stretch

"Whenever I feel like exercise, I lie down until the feeling passes." -Robert Maynard Hutchins

Hi everyone,

First, a little housekeeping: I know some of you have told me you are having trouble posting comments. I don't know what to tell you except THANKS FOR TRYING and KEEP TRYING! :) If anyone has any magic tips, please share. I am loving the comments that are coming in so far and would love even more!

OK, now I need your help. This is kind of a random question but I need some help. I have had problems with muscle pulls my whole life...whether I have been in the best shape of my life (working out every day, stretching beforehand, working with trainers, etc), and when I am not in such good shape (ahem, that would be lately!). I usually pull my hamstrings and/or groin area. Ha, ha. I said groin.

Sorry. Back to my problem. So I have had several different coaches and trainers and doctors and teammates over the years showing me different ways to stretch and stay loose, as well as how to treat sore muscles. Some things have worked more than others, and some things have been stranger than others (some of you might have read my other blog post about the horse liniment!). Unfortunately, no matter what I try, I have still had some serious muscle pulls/tears that have set me back a while.

My most recent one happened a couple of weeks ago in a softball tournament. I was running the bases and suddenly I felt a huge snap in my right hamstring. It was one of the worst ones I have ever experienced. I ended up on the ground rolling around like a big baby...but it really hurt!

I have been seeing the doctor a couple of times a week to get treated, so I am making some good progress toward healing. I am crossing my fingers I will be ready to play in my tournament in Florida next week. So, here is my question...maybe it's just a bunch of weird questions. I will throw them all out there and feel free to answer any that make sense to you:

-How do you stretch out before exercise/activity/sports?
-Do you have any good stretches for your lower body?
-Do you do more dynamic or more static stretching?
-Do you know any good magical tricks for treating a sore hammy?

I would love any feedback you have! Thanks, blog pals! :)

The Little Things

"There is always, always, always something to be thankful for." -Author Unknown

Today I went into a store for a few little things. The store is called Fiske's and it is one of the coolest, cutest stores I have ever been in. They sell crafts and stickers and stuffed animals and books and penny candy and lots of other cool little trinkets that I absolutely LOVE. If you don't know already, I am a sucker for stickers and office supplies and pens and stuff like that. So I was already excited just to walk in the store...

I picked up a few things (including some Blow-Pops...OK, when was the last time you had one of those?), and the nice woman at the counter bagged my items up. I got back into my car and put my paper bag on the car seat. As I looked down, I noticed something about the bag...can you see it?

It says Thank You. I know...not a big deal, but I looked closer and noticed that the "Thank You" was stamped on the bag. It didn't look like it was made in a factory or by a machine, either. I realized that the people at Fiske's probably stamp each individual bag at the store. It was a homemade Thank You bag! How cool is that?

For some reason, this little bag really made my day, because it was a little gesture that really made a difference. And even if I'm just crazy and the bags were pre-stamped in some giant warehouse, I'd like to believe someone somewhere thought to make the extra effort to put "Thank You" on the bag.

OK...so what's the message here? I guess it made me think of a couple of things:

-I really love small, independent, family-owned businesses like Fiske's. They just seem more homey and fun than the giant chain stores. It's even better when the business shows customers it cares with little gestures like the thank you bags.

-Saying thank you ROCKS! It's not just about the bag, or the store...I'm talking about how life's little gestures like saying thank you can really make a difference in someone's day. I try to thank people when they help me and when it fits the situation. Other little things that I notice: when I am walking down the street or down a hallway, and I pass by someone, I really love when someone smiles or says hello instead of looking down or pretending I'm not there. I know that some people have a different comfort level in social situations, and sometimes it's hard to even say hello...but yikes! I would much prefer to get a smile than get ignored, right?

Other little things like holding a door, helping someone carry heavy bags, stuff like that all counts and all matters. So if you do these little things out of habit, I think you rock! You might not notice it, but you probably make a lot of people happy throughout the day. So...THANKS! You deserve a thank you bag! :)

QUESTIONS FOR YOU: Do you have a favorite little store or place that rocks? Tell us about it! Also, what little things make you happy throughout the day?

One Step at a Time

"Make your feet your friend." -J.M. Barrie

How far do you think you could walk in one day?

Five miles?

Ten?

How about twenty six?

Today, for the sixth year in a row, my husband and his mom participated in the 26.2-mile Boston Marathon Jimmy Fund Walk. It is an awesome event that helps raise money and awareness for cancer treatment and research. People sign up to walk (you can choose to walk part or all of the 26.2-mile marathon route) and then they ask friends and family to sponsor them by donating money. Last year, the Jimmy Fund Walk raised over six million dollars to help fight cancer...pretty amazing, huh?

Words cannot describe how great it feels to participate in an event like this one. I have done the Jimmy Fund Walk twice, in 2004 and 2005, and it was incredible. Over 8,000 people participate in the walk, so you are constantly surrounded by people who are cheering, saying hello, and providing support and encouragement. Hundreds of friendly people volunteer to work at the event, so every few miles you are greeted by folks who want to help you, keep you hydrated, and provide praise and high-fives. Family and friends of walkers stop along the route with signs, offering thanks to everyone who passes by. Every mile along the route is marked by a large sign featuring a child with cancer. This is probably the most inspirational part of the walk; each sign shows the child's name, a picture, and information about the child. Seeing a smiling face every mile provides that much-needed boost of energy, particularly as the course progresses!

Another motivating image is seeing the diverse group of people who participate. As I watched from the sidelines this year, it was great to see the different groups of people who came out to walk. I saw teams of young girls, probably around ages 14-16, all walking together with huge smiles on their faces. Isn't it nice to see young people showing such selflessness and caring, joining together to raise money for a great cause?

I also saw older folks, some who looked as old as 70, walking at their own pace, many of them completing the entire 26.2 miles. One woman walked with a cane, as her partner walked alongside her, holding her hand.

My husband told me that he crossed the path of a young man who chose to participate in the 3-mile walk option, which started at the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute and ended with the other walkers at Copley Square. The man walked the entire three miles despite being on crutches.

Young, old, healthy, sick, fit, overweight...thousands of people walked for a very good cause today. Some of them walked for the first time, others have participated in this walk for over ten years. As they crossed the finish line, they were greeted by music and food and a festive celebration that they very much deserved. I was so proud of my husband and his mom...and for the thousands of other people who gave up their day (not to mention their muscles, aching feet, etc) for a worthy cause.

Even though I am "retired" from the walk, being in the middle of the celebration was definitely inspiration to get up and start moving again. I haven't been doing very well with my exercise regimen lately, and I really needed something to kick me back into gear. It got me thinking...if 70 year old people can walk 26 miles, then what is my excuse for sitting on the couch every night? And what about those people who would give anything to get out of bed, or out of a hospital room, and just walk outside? So many of us (me included) are blessed with good health and yet we waste it by just sitting around, putting things off. or saying we don't have time for exercise. Well, I am hoping to put my foot down (literally and figuratively!) and do something about it. Time for exercise! Tomorrow, I am going to get home from work and take a walk. I don't have any specific goal as far as distance...I just want to get outside and move around. Maybe I will walk the whole time, maybe I will run. Who knows? All I know is that I hope it will be Day One of a new, healthy, exercise routine. Wish me luck!

QUESTIONS FOR YOU: Do you exercise? What is your routine? If you have a regular regimen, how do you stay motivated to keep going? (I'm looking for inspiration here, people! HELP!) :)

Beaming

"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg, even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." --Bernard Meltzer

Today was another awesome day, for a bunch of reasons.

I'll start off with a question: Have you ever had someone let you know when you don't look so good? You know, like...

"Wow, you look exhausted."

"Are you sick? You look sick."

"Geez, you look terrible!"

I think we all have experienced this, right? And it always seems to happen when you are feeling especially crummy and nasty and grubby...and you really didn't need someone to remind you.

On the other hand, isn't it great when someone tells you that you look good? Especially when you are feeling particularly sharp or sassy, or you are busting out a new piece of jewelry or hairstyle or outfit (bonus if you got any of it on mega-sale!). As much as I love compliments on clothes and jewelry, they are nothing compared to a different kind of compliment I got today. Someone I hadn't seen in about a month gave me some feedback on how I looked, saying I seemed...

-more relaxed
-less stressed
-like I was "beaming" compared to a month ago

OK, hands down, that was WAY better than having someone tell me that my shoes rock!

It was a great thing to hear, especially since I have actually felt that change in the past month or so. I don't think the person was just humoring me, either...so I appreciated that someone else noticed a difference in me. I hope it continues!

I also had a wonderful dinner with two good friends tonight. I hadn't seen them in about a month, either, so it was great to reconnect. They are two hilarious ladies from school who were awesome supports when I worked there. Their rooms were always great places to stop by after school and hold legendary "vent sessions." More than anything, they were always there for a good laugh and a constant support system. Oh yes...and they also share my love of delicious food! Bonus! We had a great visit at Olive Garden (mmmmmmmmm, unlimited breadsticks.....) and caught up on life. It was one of those situations where the time apart did nothing to hinder the conversation or the connection, because the friendship is so strong that time apart doesn't really matter. I was really blessed at my school job to meet a handful of special friends like that. When I think about possibly returning to school in a year, the friendships of my colleagues are certainly at the top of the"pros" list. Anyway, it was a great dinner and I can't wait to see those lovely ladies again!

Hmm...I was actually going to finish up with something else today, but I think I'll save it for tomorrow. Looking back on what I wrote, I think that is plenty for one day! So here's my Doogie Howser "moral of the story" part of the blog:

-Getting a sincere compliment feels great. Don't ruin it by rejecting it ("No, I don't look that good...I need to lose more weight...etc")...I am guilty of this sometimes. I am trying to get better at accepting compliments, saying thank you, and believing them.
-Giving a sincere compliment feels great, too...and it can make someone's day (it made mine today!).
-Good friends rock. Plain and simple.

...and so do unlimited breadsticks! :)

QUESTIONS FOR YOU: OK, people. Time to start commenting...don't make me beg! I want to know: How do you receive compliments? Do you accept them, minimize them, get embarrassed, etc?

Also...what do you love most about your friends?

Byrd Watching

"It may sound strange, but many champions are made champions by setbacks." -Bob Richards

Most of you know I am a huge Red Sox fan. Tonight before the game started, there was a little clip/story about Paul Byrd. Paul is a pitcher who has played for a bunch of different teams (including the Red Sox) over a 13+ year career in the major leagues. He ended the 2008 season with the Red Sox, but he was not re-signed and became a free agent at the end of the year. Long story short, no other team really wanted him, so he ended up taking some time off. He hasn't played at all during the 2009 season, until a couple of weeks ago, when the the Red Sox re-signed him in early August.

He pitched his first major league game of the 2009 season last week, winning a 7-0 game against the Blue Jays. He pitched a great game, going six innings and only giving up three hits. That's pretty impressive, considering he hadn't faced major league hitters in almost a year!

After the game, Byrd was interviewed by the media. Naturally, everyone was buzzing about his return to baseball. I saw clips of the interview before tonight's game, but after seeing a little bit, I went on the NESN website because I really wanted to see more.

What I loved about the interview was the sincere enthusiasm and passion for the game that Byrd showed. He seemed very humbled by the opportunity to return to baseball, and spent most of the time thanking others for his second chance. The best part of the interview was when Byrd explained how he prepared for his return to the major leagues--by throwing batting practice to his sons' 13-and-under baseball team. He thanked the team for helping him stay active and even wore the team's hat in the interview. I am not really doing the interview justice, so if you want to see it for yourself, check it out here:

http://www.nesn.com/2009/08/paul-byrd-makes-most-of-return-to-red-sox.html

Watching the interview was pretty inspiring for a couple of different reasons. First of all, as a baseball fan, it's pretty cool to watch a 38-year old pitcher make a comeback like that (38 is considered pretty elderly in baseball years). Second of all, as an athlete, I really appreciate watching someone who has such passion for the game. Watching Byrd talk about his return to the mound gave me goosebumps, because I know how much I love stepping on the field and playing the game I love. I can't imagine what it will feel like when I can't play anymore...I'm sure it will be incredibly heartbreaking, so I can only imagine what Byrd felt like last season when he wasn't picked up by any teams. Getting another shot at playing must have been such a thrill for him.

I didn't know too much about Paul Byrd before tonight, but I really liked him after watching the interview. It really touched me and left me with a few thoughts...

1. Appreciate every day! You never know if or when you will get another opportunity to do what you love.
2. You typically don't accomplish big things all by yourself, so always remember to acknowledge and thank the people who help you along the way.
3. Don't accept no for an answer. If you love something enough, anything is possible with a little hard work and determination.
4. Take good care of your glove...you never know when you'll need it again! :)

PS--The Red Sox are winning 3-2 as I write this...Paul Byrd started the game and pitched five full innings. He is done for the night but can get the win if the bullpen holds on to it for him. Awesome!

QUESTIONS FOR YOU: Sports are a huge passion for me. What is your passion? Is there something in your life (sport, hobby, craft, etc) that really makes you feel your best? Tell us about it!

Shake It

"Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance." -Dave Barry

I am a music nut. I swear, in a former life, I was Aretha Franklin or something. Um, yes, I know she is still alive. And no, I am not nearly as amazing as Aretha. But you know what I mean. I love to belt out songs and sing and dance and rap and just go crazy whenever the music is on. Sure, I don't always hit the right notes, and my dance moves are super corny, but I DON'T CARE. Put a good song on and I can't help myself.

I could probably write hundreds of blog posts about music (and who knows? I just might!)...because there are so many great songs and genres and artists. It's hard to capture all of my tastes in one blog post. However, for this post I am going to focus on HAPPY music. Particularly, silly, goofy, simple music that isn't necessarily deep or beautiful. It doesn't have poignant, touching lyrics. It's just great music with a fun beat that makes me want to get up and shake my butt around.

I notice that when I am dancing, I can't be upset. There is no way I can possibly be sad or feel sorry for myself. All I can do is smile and laugh and sing. It is such a boost to the spirit, it gets the blood flowing, and it's great exercise!

One of my favorite ladies of all time (who is also a former school co-worker) and I used to dance a lot at work. We would just randomly bust out moves in the middle of my office, usually alone...but we also danced in front of other friends at work. We didn't care that we looked silly or that our moves were mostly leftovers from the 1990s (Running Man, anyone?). We just loved dancing together and knowing that we could totally be ourselves around each other. It was our way of decompressing during a stressful day, and it was awesome. When my friend moved on to a new job, I missed so much about her, but the dancing was one of my best memories. As a goodbye gift, she bought me a "boogie button" that I could press whenever I was feeling the urge to shake my groove thang. (Are you reading this, girlfriend? I hope so!) :)

Fast forward a couple of years later, and now I am the one who has moved on from school (for the year, anyway)...and only after a few days of working at the liquor store, I realized that my co-worker that I work with 90% of the time also LOVES TO DANCE LIKE A GOOFBALL! Hooray! We spend a good deal of the day grooving around the store, shaking our booties, and laughing at our silly dance moves. We still manage to work hard, get things done, and stay productive, but we also find ways to make it fun. Honestly, if we had to go through the day staying serious and just going about our business, we would probably rip our hair out by 11:00 every morning. Instead, we make things fun.

The music certainly helps get us in the mood, and a while back, we discovered the BEST radio station. It's called Mike FM (93.7 for all of you folks in Massachusetts) and their claim to fame is that they "play everything." They are not lying, let me tell you! The songs are so random, but if your musical taste is as crazy and diverse as mine, you can really appreciate a station like Mike FM.

My co-worker and I are working on a Mike FM's Greatest Hits CD, which will include our favorite dance tunes that we hear during the week. Here are some of our favorites...whenever they come on, we go crazy and start jumping around and singing along:

Rock Lobster by B-52s
Break My Stride by Matthew Wilder
Physical by Olivia Newton-John
Jungle Love by The Time
Tarzan Boy by Baltimora
You Sexy Thing by Hot Chocolate
Party Train by Gap Band
Wild Thing by Tone Loc
Hold on Tight to Your Dreams by ELO

...and that's just the first volume! :)

So, what's my point? I don't remember...all I can think about is dancing! I guess my point is that music is such an awesome way to influence your mood. In this case, I love fun, upbeat, silly dance tunes to lift my spirits and help me get through the day. I am so lucky that I can basically dance my way through the work day with another fun and crazy lady who shares my wacky sense of humor. This is definitely a sure-fire way to improve my mental health! I highly recommend it to anyone looking for a good time. If you can't dance at work, then try doing it somewhere else--at home, when you wake up or when you get home from work, in the car (I love this!), in the grocery store, walking down the street....whatever. Just dance! I promise you will enjoy it.

QUESTIONS FOR YOU: Are you a crazy dancer like me? If so, tell me some of your favorite fun dance tunes (or, if you have not yet discovered Crazy Dancing, your favorite fun, silly, happy songs)!

Let's Play!

"Live and work but do not forget to play...to have fun in life and really enjoy it." -Eileen Caddy

When I was a kid, going outside to play was like second nature. No matter what the season or time of day, I was always up for swimming, biking, sledding, or just running around and getting dirty until it was time for bed. Nothing bothered me--mosquitoes, heat, cold, you name it--I just wanted to have fun.

Now that I am older, I still love to have fun, but sometimes, it feels like it is more of a chore to get going. I find myself complaining...it's too hot, it's too cold, I'm too tired, I don't feel like it...OK, am I serious? When I was younger, I would have given up days of sleep just to hang out with my friends, be outdoors playing, or just being around people that made me happy. So why is it so hard to get motivated now?

Don't get me wrong...I still enjoy having a good time, but I think in my stressed out state (aka The Old Me!), I would sometimes choose to just veg or be a blob when I could have been out enjoying life. I think I lost sight of the fact that playing does so much for the spirit...it recharges you, it brightens your day, and it can remind you how fortunate you are to have such great people in your life. So, as part of the 180 plan, I am trying to take advantage of every opportunity to PLAY. Yes, I still have to work and make money and pay bills, but I am going to spend as little time as possible on the couch (unless, of course, I am blogging) and as much time as I can enjoying the company of friends and loved ones. Fortunately, I have a lot of great people who love to play as much as I do! I am lucky!

Tonight my husband and I had my sister and brother in law over our house. We spent the night laughing, talking, and playing Rock Band. You should see us...we really get into it. I'm on drums, the guys are on guitar and bass, and my sister is our rocking lead singer. We have other amazing musicians who guest star from time to time, including my brother and some other good friends. It's a lot of fun pretending to be rock stars for the night...plus, it's comfortable because we are lounging around on bean bag chairs, it's totally inexpensive (just the cost of snacks), and it's just a bunch of silly people having fun together. Call us a bunch of video game geeks. We don't care. We are proud! And, we are counting down the days until the new Beatles Rock Band game comes out on 9/9...if anyone wants to join the Beatles Rock Band party, let me know! You are totally invited!

QUESTIONS FOR YOU: Do you play? What do you like to do for fun? Do you get as much play time as you'd like? If not, what's holding you back?

The Puzzle

"Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom." - Thomas Jefferson

I had an awesome day today. The weather is cooling off a little bit and it is starting to feel like fall, my favorite time of the year. I had a chance to connect with three very dear people to me that I hadn't spoken to in a while. They are all very different in age, background, and how they are connected to me, but in all three conversations, I was able to talk about my situation openly and honestly. I shared about my decision to take the year off, some of my personal struggles with anxiety and stress, and how I am planning on spending the year recharging, growing, and learning.

The neat thing about each person and each conversation was that in all of them, the other person was able to share her own experience and talk candidly about how she has coped in difficult (and in some cases, very similar) situations. Their sharing was completely unsolicited, but apparently I prompted something in each of them to encourage sharing. It was brave, honest, and extremely helpful of them.

I appreciated the trust and openness it took for each of them to talk honestly about their own challenges, as well as the healthy ways they each learned (and are still learning) to overcome them. As a counselor, I have always appreciated others' willingness to put themselves "out there" and share their vulnerabilities with me. However, I sometimes found that sharing my own struggles wasn't as easy...I was the one who helped people with their problems, not have them myself! Can anyone relate?

Throughout this 180 process, I am learning to share my flaws with people without feeling embarrassed or ashamed, and the deep connections that sharing has created (in such a short time!) has been amazing. I have reconnected with old friends, gotten even closer to people I already felt close to, and overall, learned more about myself and how to accept imperfections.

It's OK to not have all the answers. No one does. In fact, when you admit that you don't have them, the process of learning from others can be incredibly refreshing. It's like we all have a piece to the puzzle, and allowing ourselves to share/borrow/accept pieces from others from time to time is a very powerful thing.

QUESTIONS FOR YOU: Is it easy for you to talk about your own struggles? Can you do it, but with only certain people?

I Will

"For myself, I am an optimist - it does not seem to be much use being anything else." -Winston Churchill


If you follow Maggie's Octopus, you already know that I have been working at a liquor store since early July. This job is a (huge) part of the "Stress Free Year Off" plan. Even though I don't make a whole lot of money there, it has been the perfect place for me since leaving my other job. I go there every day knowing what lies ahead. I don't have many (or really, any) confrontations with people. I don't have to think very hard. I laugh A LOT because my co-workers are hilarious. I listen to the radio. I dance. Bottom line? I have fun.

Obviously, my career goal is not to work at a liquor store for the rest of my life. But for someone who has been pushing and going nonstop and juggling thousands of balls in the air at her old job, this job is such a breath of fresh air. It feels like I was driving in rush hour traffic forever and ever, and then one day, I just pulled off the highway and onto a quiet back road. It's great!

My other blog features funny stories about liquor store customers...the crazy things they do, the odd things they say...but this post is going to be a little different. I want to tell you about a really wise customer who comes in every now and then. I bet he has no idea that he is the inspiration for today's post. Here goes.

This man seems like a typical guy...nothing flashy about him, just your Average Joe. He says "Hello" when he walks into the store, makes his purchase, and leaves without much excitement. However, there is something that sticks out about him. Whenever a customer leaves the store, I always say, "Have a great day." Most people just say, "You, too" or "Thanks" and walk out the door. But this man is different. He always says the same thing whenever I tell him to have a nice day...

"I will."

It might sound kind of simple, but I always notice it. "I will." Maybe it's just what he says, but I like to think it's something more. Think about it. What if every day, as you head out into the world, you made a decision that it was going to be a great day? What if you told yourself, "I will have a great day today." It seems like an easy thing to do, but honestly, I don't always do that. Some days I wake up feeling tired or cranky or defeated...almost like I have already decided on having a bad day. Why do I do that? Why do a lot of us do that? What if we all just decided to have a great day every day? And then we did our best to go out and make it happen?

Tomorrow morning when I wake up, I am going to tell myself that it is going to be a great day. I'll let you know how it goes!

QUESTIONS FOR YOU: Do you have any morning rituals that help you prepare for the day? Do they work? Do you think starting your day a certain way has an impact on the rest of your day?

This is the 180 Experience

Another blog?!

I know. I thought it was kind of weird at first, too. But I have been doing a lot of thinking lately, and I decided to take on a new project, starting today. See, today marks a very important day for me...it would have been my first day back to work. I worked in a school for eight years and today is the first day of school. The only thing is, I'm not going back.

Around January 2009, after months of stressing, weighing options, making lists, and venting to anyone who would listen, I decided to take a year-long leave of absence from my job. I was feeling overwhelmed, burnt out, whatever you want to call it...I like to call it my pre-mid-life crisis. The bottom line was that I was tired and stressed and confused. The only thing I was sure about was that I needed a break. So, at 30 years old and after eight years on the job, I took one.

The summer has been great for me. I have had time to stop, breathe, and reflect on the decision. I still feel like it was the right one for me at the time, and I'm glad I made it. However, the whole "what's next?" question has yet to be answered. At first I worried about finding the next thing, making huge decisions, and getting my life in order RIGHT AWAY...because that's what I have always done. But at some point I realized that in order to feel better and stop stressing, I just needed to STOP. Stop rushing, stop worrying, stop obsessing, and just be for a while. Find time to relax, refresh, recharge, and hopefully in the process, become a stronger and healthier person.

That brings me to this blog. Sort of. I thought about the school year starting up and how it connected to my goals for the year. Most people know that the school year is 180 days long. That seems like a long time (remember being a student?), but it can actually fly by if you don't pay attention. Days and months can all blend together when you are stressed or overwhelmed or anxious or (fill in the emotional blank). I decided that this year, I am not going to count down the days like a prison sentence. I am going to look forward to each day and squeeze as much out of it as I can. I am going to wake up feeling excited about the day ahead, instead of looking forward to when it's over. So as the students are learning this year in school, I hope to learn a lot, too. About myself, my goals, the world around me, and how to be the best person I can be. I hope to try new things, resurrect some old dreams, and go on some amazing adventures.

180 also represents change. When you hear someone say, "She did a total 180!" you think about someone making a drastic shift or change or turnaround. Well, I hope to do a little bit of that this year, too. I hope to change the way I deal with stress, the way I view certain situations, and in some ways, the way I live my life. Not only do I hope to be a mentally/emotionally stronger person at the end of the year, but I also hope to improve my physical health. Let's face it...a lot of us could do better with our eating and exercise, and I am right there with you. I would love to figure out ways to get in better shape this year...and stick with it!

So that's a little bit about The 180 Experience. I am hoping to document my time here on this blog...talk about things that I have learned, share things that inspire me, and ask questions about things I am curious about. And here's where you come in. I want as many of you as possible to be a part of this experience...not only because I think you have a lot of wisdom to share, but because I think we all have room in our lives for a little 180. Is there something you hope to change or improve or learn? If so, why not join me this year? I would love to have some classmates along for the ride...

So become a follower and start participating! Comment on posts, suggest ideas for new ones, and help keep me going! This is all about being inspired and making positive changes.

But don't worry...my cynical, sarcastic side will still be over at Maggie's Octopus, so keep visiting there, too! :)