Tales From the Bench

"When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves." -Victor Frankl

Hi everyone,

I'm back! Florida was amazing. I had such a good time and made a ton of great memories with my teammates. This was our first year together as a team, so we came into the tournament with varied expectations and experience at such a high level (this was the slow pitch World Series). Well, I won't leave you in suspense any longer...out of 92 teams in the tournament, we finished THIRD in the whole country! How incredible is that? We came in knowing we were good, but nothing could have prepared us for the amazing run we had together.

As you probably remember, I was having hamstring problems coming into the tournament. I had been resting and rehabbing it for about a month and keeping my fingers crossed that I would be healthy for the World Series. My doctor gave me the OK to play, saying I should be fine as long as I stretched out ahead of time.

We arrived on the field the first day and it was INCREDIBLE. There is no way to explain how thrilling it was to drive into the Disney Wide World of Sports complex and realize, "Oh my God. I am going to play here!" Those of you who know me well know that softball and Mickey Mouse are two of my favorite things EVER, so this was like a dream come true for me.

I stretched out well before the game, I iced and heated and did everything I was supposed to...then I took a deep breath and started to run. It felt FINE! YAY! I was so excited. I ran faster and harder, turned corners, ran backwards, and it still felt fine. I was feeling optimistic heading into the game, even though in the back of my mind I feared having another hamstring snap once the game started.

The game started, I got up to bat for the first time, and felt great. The fields were immaculate, the sun was shining...it was so awesome. I swung at the first pitch, hit the ball, and started my sprint toward first base. About three steps into it, I felt that dreaded snap again. It was my hamstring. NOOOOOOOOOOO!

I hobbled over to first base and started stretching the leg. My teammate asked me if I was OK and I said, "I'm fine," even though I wasn't fine. I wanted to be fine and I was hoping the injury wasn't as bad as it had been last month. I stayed on first base and tried to stay in the game. Once the next person hit, I tried running to second and my leg was KILLING me. If you have never torn your hamstring before, it's hard to explain how painful it is. Basically, no matter how hard you try to block out the pain, it it excruciating. You literally can't run, even if you try. My other teammate called time out and took me out of the game. It was one of the worst feelings I had in a long time. I immediately started crying; not because of the pain in my leg but because I was heartbroken. I knew that I wouldn't be able to play in the rest of the World Series.

I don't really know how to explain the feeling of being taken out of the game. You might think I am being a bit dramatic by saying I was heartbroken, but I really was. I was also angry, I'm not going to lie. Imagine something you love to do more than anything else, and then imagine someone telling you that you can't do it. That's how I felt! Like I said before, playing in the World Series (in Disney World!!) was such a huge thrill for me, so to have that taken away in a split second was like being kicked in the stomach. I was so sad. And I don't know how to say this without sounding like a jerk...but I don't know what it feels like not to play. I have been lucky enough in my athletic career to always play. I have never sat on the bench unless I was hurt. And as much as I respect all of my teammates, regardless of who plays or who doesn't...I don't feel comfortable on the bench. All I know is being on the field. So this was terrible for me.

I lost it for a few minutes, but I soon realized that crying wasn't going to help my team. It would only be a distraction, and no one needed that. So, I tried to catch my breath and focus on what I could still do: cheer on my teammates and be a positive presence in the dugout. It was definitely hard to do, especially during that first game, but I tried my best and was able to stay as positive as I could. My teammates knew how hard it was for me, and they were all so supportive and tried their best to keep me up. I will never forget that!

For the rest of the tournament, I played the role of super-hyper-crazy-cheering-wild-coach-teammate. I put my sadness aside and decided to be the very best teammate I could be. I never stopped cheering, I used every crazy motivational trick I could find to help keep my teammates going and fired up. I never sat down, I never shut up, and I loved every minute of it! I was able to pinch hit in a few key game situations, and I think that helped me feel like I was contributing a little bit, but for the most part, I was on the sidelines being Cheer Girl.

If I could go back in time, I would obviously not have chosen to be hurt. I would have stayed healthy and played in every game. However, given the situation I was dealt, I feel very thankful for the experience. I experienced the whole tournament from a very different perspective than I ever had. When you are on the field in the middle of the action, you don't really get to appreciate the little details of every play...or the efforts of each athlete...or the emotion involved with the ups and downs of the game. Usually, you are so focused that you zone out some of the little things. Because I was on the sidelines, I got to see every move, every play, every at bat from my teammates. I got to watch them run on and off the field every inning, high five each other, and prepare for every game together. It was not only enjoyable and exciting to watch them, but I also learned so much about the game by having the chance to watch them so closely. I always knew I had talented teammates, but I had no idea just how remarkable they were before this weekend. Most of my teammates were tired or sick or run down or injured in some way, but they all played as if they were in perfect health. Running for extra bases, diving for balls, sliding into other players, and sacrificing their bodies just to win the game. They played hard, but they always played fair. They were all good sports and stayed positive, even when the game or the calls were not in our favor. They never gave up and always believed that we could pull together and win. It was awesome! I feel like I became a better softball player during the tournament, even though I hardly stepped on the field. And I know that being positive on the sidelines made a big difference to my teammates. They thanked me after every game and mentioned that I was a factor in helping them stay positive and focused. I wasn't looking for any thanks, but I have to tell you...it felt good to be recognized!

This opportunity not only helped me as a player, but also as a coach. I coach a high school softball team, and I expect a lot out of my players. I tell the girls that everyone on the team is valuable and that everyone contributes, no matter how much they play. And to be honest, I get frustrated when the girls on the bench don't seem to be cheering or involved as much as I think they should. However, after my experience in Disney, I have such a better appreciation for the girls who have to sit on the bench all the time. I never really understood how difficult it is to have to stay up all the time when you don't get to be involved in the action on the field. As silly as it may sound, I never realized how hard it was to yell for two hours straight! Yikes! :) I think when I go back to my coaching job in the spring, I will have a much better perspective on all of the athletes on the team, not just the ones scoring the runs or striking people out.

I am so proud of my teammates for what they accomplished on the field in the World Series, and I am happy that I got to be a part of it. It was an unforgettable experience.

QUESTIONS FOR YOU: Have you ever had an experience not go exactly the way you wanted, but you figured out a way to make the best of it? How did you do it? Tell us about it!